


When Anxiety Becomes Too Much

by Warden_Champion_Inquisitor



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anxious!Reader, F/M, Genma is an asshole, Reader knows Yamato as Tenzo, Reader-Insert, Star Gazing, Tezno is a sweetheart, reader has anxiety disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 10:01:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12768633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warden_Champion_Inquisitor/pseuds/Warden_Champion_Inquisitor
Summary: (Y/N) had terrible anxiety, that was only getting worse. Eventually, Tenzo has to step in.





	When Anxiety Becomes Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I know that Tenzo isn't Yamato's actual name but in this one, the reader knew Yamato when he was Tenzo so that's why the reader refers to Yamato as Tenzo.

The moon shone brightly, enveloping the mountains around you in a soft glowing light when a warm hand shook you awake. It was your turn on watch. It didn’t bother you much seeing as the view was so spectacular. And to top it off, your team had completed the mission that the Hokage had assigned which meant that you could take it easy for now.

 

“It’s your turn on watch.” Tenzo – Yamato murmured as you stirred. Yamato. The name sounded so foreign in your mind. You stretched your sore body then sat up and looked at the man who woke you. His eyes were tired, but he still managed to give you his classic smile.

 

“Tired?” You asked as you adorned your weapons. He nodded while he unfolded his bed and placed it beside your now empty one. You watched as he took off his silly head protector and set it down beside the bed. He looked so cute when he wore it. “Well, have a good night Yamato. See you in the morning.” You turned away before he could say anything and disappeared into the night.

 

Reappearing at the watchpoint, you settled down in a comfortable spot and began your silent vigil. After a while, your thoughts drifted back towards the camp and to the now sleeping ninja. A small smile appeared on your face at the thought. You two had known each other for quite some time now; ever since he was rescued from Orochimaru’s grasp. It hadn’t taken you long to become friends with him which was surprising because you weren’t the best at making friends. But with Tenzo it just seemed to come naturally to you. Knowing that Tenzo was in the Black Ops honestly terrified you. You didn’t want to lose him. Since he was in the Black Ops, he couldn’t really tell you when or where he was going, or any details for that matter. It comforted you to know that he was undercover as Yamato. Because he wasn’t always on a top-secret mission, there was a lot more time to spend with him. Smiling at the thought, you focused back on the task at hand.

 

The sun was peeking over the mountain when the bushes rustled behind you. In a flash, you were on your feet with a Kunai in hand.

 

“It’s only me.” You heard Tenzo’s voice. Letting out a sigh of relief you sat back down.

 

“Shouldn’t you still be sleeping Tenzo?” You asked leaning back on your hands, tilting your head to the side to watch him as he sat down beside you.

 

“You know, you should really stop calling me Tenzo.” He shot a sideways glance at you. “One of these days you're going to call me that in front of everyone.” You let out an annoyed huff of air.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” You rolled your eyes. “Yamato. Ugh, it's it’s just such a nuisance having to remember to call you a different name. How do you even remember to always call yourself Yamato?” Your eyes focused back on the sunrise. Tenzo let out a quiet laugh and turned to look at you.

 

“When you’ve been in the Back Ops as long as I have,” He smiled, “you just automatically remember to use your codename.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.” You agreed with a sigh, suddenly becoming morose with the thought of him finishing whatever his mission as Yamato was. Then you wouldn’t be able to see him as much anymore. You tilted your head back and closed your eyes with another sigh.

 

“Why so glum all of the sudden?” Tenzo asked, confusion laced in his voice. When you didn’t reply he moved closer to you and gently poked your cheek, something that he would always do to cheer you up. This time, it didn’t work. You could feel the sense of dread surface in the pit of your stomach, slowing taking over your body, the thought stirring up your anxiety. Your finger tapped furiously as you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your mind. “Hey, (Y/N).” Tenzo placed his hand on top of yours, stopping your finger from tapping. You swallowed as your breaths became uneven. “(Y/N) just breath,” Yamato instructed and placed his hand on the small of your back, rubbing in gentle circles. You bit your lip and followed Tenzo’s directions. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. After a minute, your breathing was back to normal. You blushed deeply when you realized how close Tenzo was, and that his hand was still resting on your back. Quickly you looked away.

 

“I'm sorry.” You mumbled quietly.

 

“Hey,” He chastised gently, “you never need to apologize for your attacks to me, you know that.” You mumbled another apology, still not able to meet his eyes. Even though Tenzo had witnessed your attacks many times, it still embarrassed you when you lost yourself like that in front of him. It always made you feel so weak. A shinobi should always be in control of their emotions, but sometimes you couldn’t stop it. Tenzo sighed at your second apology. “(Y/N), I know you’re worried about me finishing this mission and going back to the Black Ops,” Tenzo started, somehow knowing exactly what was on your mind. “But I can promise you that I’ll be on this mission as Yamato for a long while yet. Plus, there’s no need to worry about me so much.” You still refused to look at him. “That is what you're anxious about right? I don’t want to be the cause of your attacks (Y/N). Please look at me.” Sucking on your bottom lip, you turned your head to see Tenzo’s worried face.

 

“That’s not-” You began only to be cut off by a yell and the sound of someone crashing through the bush behind you. In a flash both you and Tenzo were on your feet, weapons at the ready only to see none other than Genma hunched over at the edge of the bush cackling with laughter.

 

“I, I got you two pretty good.” He gasped, breathless from his laughter.

 

“Asshole.” You muttered, trying to stay your racing heart. He didn’t overhear you and Tenzo talking, did he? Your mind went into overdrive thinking of all the scenarios that might occur if he did. Would he make fun of you for having anxiety? Would he think that you were a weak and useless shinobi? Only a few people knew about your anxiety, would he tell everyone about your attack? Or even worse, would he think that you and Tenzo had a thing? So many thoughts ran through your head you didn’t even notice Genma approach you.

 

“So, you and Yamato, hey?” Your heart froze at the statement. The worst possible thing happened.

 

“What, uh, I,” You stammered not knowing what to say.

 

“Well judging on how close you two are standing and how his hand’s on your back, I guess I'm right.” He smirked looking back and forth between you and Tenzo.

 

“Genma leave her alone.” Tenzo warned with a glare. You were still frozen, your breaths uneven and you knew that another attack was inevitable. How did Genma know that you had feelings for Tenzo? Were you that easy to read? Oh Gods, if that was the case then did Tenzo himself know? And if Tenzo did know, then did he just choose to ignore it because he didn’t reciprocate the feelings? So many questions were rushing through your brain that you didn’t notice yourself hyperventilating, you didn’t notice Tenzo’s worried face. The only thing you noticed was Genma's face. He was now staring at you, watching your attack. Was he disgusted? Was he-

 

“(Y/N),” Tenzo’s voice broke through. “Deep breaths, (Y/N).” You blinked furiously only now noticing the tears rolling down your face. How did things escalate so quickly? You could hear yourself gasping for air as if you hadn’t had oxygen in hours. Your eyes were wide as you stared into Tenzo’s worried but determined face. “Focus on my voice (Y/N). Try and slow your breathing.” Tenzo’s voice was gentle but firm. Again, you followed his instructions but this time it took you a lot longer to calm back down. The entire time Tenzo was there with you, encouraging you, telling you that it was okay. You closed your eyes as you finally evened out your breathing.

 

“What, what just happened?” Genma asked, concern and guilt plastered on his face. Tenzo looked at you, asking permission to tell him. You looked away and nodded, noticing his hand in yours. You gripped it tighter, trying to keep yourself grounded.

 

“Not very many people know this,” Tenzo started, “but (Y/N) has bad anxiety. And sometimes she’ll have panic attacks like the one you just saw. Sometimes they come on their own, accompanied with thoughts of doubt, and sometimes they're induced by something she hears other people say. And I guess something you said struck a nerve.”

 

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry.” Genma apologized and rubbed the back of his head. “Please forgive me.” You looked up in surprise.

 

“You, you aren’t disgusted?” You asked confused. “You don’t think less of me as a ninja?”

 

“Think less of you?” Genma questioned. “Of course not! I actually know someone else who has some anxiety. It’s not uncommon. Plus, almost everyone experiences anxiety once in a while, maybe not to the extent that you do, but it’s a normal emotion.” Your mouth opened in disbelief. This was not what you expected at all. “You should go and talk to the medical core about it. They have these awesome herbal pills that can help with anxiety. You should try them!” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “So again, I'm really sorry (Y/N). Will you forgive me?”

 

“Y-yeah,” You stuttered and Genma flashed you a smile.

 

“Anyways, I was actually coming here to tell you two that were packing up and moving out soon,” Genma said.

 

“Alright,” Tenzo replied, “We’ll be there in a bit.” You stared at Genma’s back as he disappeared back into the bush. Tenzo turned to you. “Are you alright, (Y/N)? That was a pretty bad one.”

 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” You replied still not able to comprehend what just happened.

 

“Maybe when we get back to the village,” Tenzo suggested, “We could go and see Lady Tsunade about those pills? I could come with you if that would make you feel better.”

 

“I, I just, don’t know what to think.” You tightened your grip on his hand to stop it from shaking. “I thought that he would think less of me.” All of the sudden, you were enveloped in a warm embrace.

 

“(Y/N), I promise you, no one will think less of you. All of that is your anxiety talking.” He held you a bit tighter. “You need to fight those thoughts. Everyone in the village loves you and knows how good of a ninja you are. I know I do.” You looked up at him.

 

“Really? You really think those things?”

 

“Of course (Y/N)! You’ve been my best friend forever. How could I not?” He smiled down at you. “You’re strong, funny, compassionate, and independent. Those are all amazing qualities. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone.” Those words. Those simple words hit home for you. Wrapping your arms tightly round Tenzo’s neck you started to cry. It had been a hard day already. And it didn’t help that the voice of anxiety inside you kept making you have doubts. Doubts about who you were, if you were a good person, if you were a person worthy of the friends you have. Anxiety came with _so much doubt_. It took so much out of you, constantly having to battle with the beast the inhabited your body, so it was nice when someone said something to make you doubt your doubts. Maybe you were who you were meant to be, maybe you were a good person, maybe you did deserve the friends you have. You needed those thoughts to be louder than the voice that was anxiety.

 

“Hey, it’s alright.” Tenzo comforted as he held your sobbing form.

 

“I’m –” You were about to apologize when Tenzo interrupted you.

 

“You never need to apologize to me (Y/N).”  He murmured into your ear. “Never. Now we’d better get back to camp so we can pack.” Tenzo gave you a few more minutes to compose yourself and once you had, you both headed back towards the camp hand in hand, feeling better than you had in a long time.

 

It had taken your group a week to get back to the Leaf Village. Once you arrived, Tenzo wanted to go to Lady Tsunade right away but you weren’t ready.

 

“(Y/N), the sooner we go the sooner you’ll feel better.” Tenzo said adamantly as he paced your living room.

 

“I, I just don’t know if I'm ready to do that yet. I mean, it’s the Hokage I’d be speaking to.” You rambled, “What if she says I'm not fit to be a ninja anymore?” You chewed on the side of your finger in hopes of calming your nerves. Tenzo came and sat beside you.

 

“(Y/N), she would never do that.” He reassured.

 

“Please Tenzo,” You looked into his eyes, pleading with your own. “Just give me a few days to get myself together. I promise I’ll go.”

 

“Two days.” Tenzo finally agreed, leaning back into the sofa with a sigh. You leaned back into the sofa as well. Your chest tightened when you looked towards the brown-haired ninja. Guaranteed, Tsunade would ask how your attacks happened when you were on the way back from your mission and then you would have to talk about Tenzo. He wanted to be there with you, but you definitely couldn’t talk about that with him in the room. So hopefully Tsunade would make him leave the room. Or maybe you would go without Tenzo during the two days before you were supposed to go. No, then he would probably feel hurt that you didn’t let him go with you.

 

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Tenzo asked. “I can pretty much see the gears in your head moving.”

 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” You dismissed. He didn’t look convinced. “It’s nothing to worry about Tenzo, really.”

 

“You know, calling me Tenzo all the time is going to make me forget to call myself Yamato.” Tenzo complained with a playful nudge.

 

“Oh really? What happened to ‘I’ve been in the Black Ops so long I’ve gotten used to it?’” You mocked with a teasing smile.

 

“It’s not nice to tease you know!” Tenzo grinned mischievously then lunged at you.

 

“Hey!” You yelled as he grabbed you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder like he used to when you were younger. “Tenzo! Stop!” You laughed and gently pounded his back with your fists.

 

“Never!” He yelled and ran out the door and down the busy street.

 

“Ten- Yamato! Put me down!” You managed to catch yourself before yelling his actual name. The people in the street parted ways for Tenzo as he sprinted down the street grinning like an idiot while you were laughing so hard your stomach hurt.

 

“Captain Yamato, what in the world are you doing?” You heard Naruto ask as he sprinted beside the two of you.

 

“Save me Naruto!” You yelled in mock fear. “I was just innocently insulting him and then he abducted me from my house!” Naruto gave a confused look.

 

“You will never steal the princess from me!” Tenzo cried and ran faster.

 

“You two are weird, you know that?” Naruto said with a sigh and veered away from you. Finally, once you reached the middle of town he set you down on your feet.

 

“Now, Princess, where would you like to go?” Tenzo asked with a smile.

 

“How about the Ramen shop?” You replied, breathless from laughing. “I’m starving!”

 

“Agreed my liege. Would you like to be carried there?”

 

“I think I can walk-” Before you could even finish your sentence you were once again thrown over Tenzo’s hard shoulder. “Yamato!” You yelled as he took off towards the Ramen shop, laughing all the way there.

 

The ramen had been great and now you were back at home. This time, you were alone. Tenzo had been called to see the Hokage so you finally had some alone time. Maybe he had to go on another mission. Then he wouldn’t be here for when you saw the Hokage. You made your way to bed trying not to think too hard about what you were going to be doing in two days.

 

__

 

It turned out that Tenzo didn’t have to go on a mission, so he would still be coming with you after all. You laid in bed still drowsy from last nights sleep when a loud knocking came from your front door. Groaning, you looked at your clock. 8:30. You would think on your days off you would at least get to sleep in.

 

“Hey, (Y/N)!” You heard Tenzo yell after you didn’t reply. “I told the Hokage that we’d be there for 10:00!”

 

“It’s only 8:30 Te- Yamato!” You groaned loudly.

 

“Yeah but I know you always like to have time to yourself in the morning and I know how much time you need to get ready.” By now, Tenzo had used the spare key you gave him and was in your room. “Rise and shine Sleepyhead!” Tenzo ripped the curtains back with a devilish grin. Hissing, you threw a pillow over your eyes.

 

“Yeah,” You whined, “well I’d also like to sleep in you know.” You felt the bed dip as Tenzo sat down beside you and gave you a poke.

 

“Come on, Lazybones.” He prodded with a smile. Letting out a huff of air, you slowly took the pillow off your face. Squinting because of the brightness, you glared at the ninja sitting beside you who only responded with a wide smile.

 

“You really push my buttons, you know that?” Sighing, you stretched and got out of bed still dreading the day ahead. “Let me have a shower and get ready.” Tenzo nodded understanding the request and left the room. The door quietly clicked as you debated getting back into bed.

 

“If you get back into bed I’ll make sure to tickle you to death,” Tenzo called from the kitchen almost as if he could read your mind.

 

“Damn you Tenzo.” You muttered and headed to the cold bathroom.

 

Once you finished showering you shuffled into the kitchen. A plate of food lay in wait. You sat down and tried not to grumble about being woken up early, seeing as Tenzo put in a lot of effort to make you breakfast. Deciding that the best way to do that was to stuff your face, you began to eat. Soon Tenzo joined you.

 

“Still grumpy?” Tenzo asked through a mouthful of food. You only grunted a reply. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” Tenzo chuckled quietly. You swallowed and sighed.

 

“I'm just nervous.”

 

“I know.” Tenzo replied and laid his hand on top of yours in comfort. “If it becomes too much then we can leave.” He already knew better than to say that there was no need to be nervous. This was one of the reasons why you loved Tenzo. He never tried to ignore or push aside your anxiety. He had always asked you questions regarding anxiety and even went as far as doing research about it. He would ask how he could help. What the best course of action was to help you through an attack. He was a saving grace. In a world full of people who knew almost nothing about anxiety, it was nice to have someone like Tenzo as a friend. “And I’ll be there to help you through it too.”

 

“Thanks, Tenzo.” In any other situation, it would be a small comfort to know that he would be with you. Unfortunately, this was not one of them. Tenzo smiled gently as he continued to eat his food, leaving your thoughts to stir uncomfortably.

 

Finally, the time came to leave for your meeting. You and Tenzo walked in a comfortable silence, only breaking it to greet the odd passerby. Once you reached the Hokage’s building, Tenzo’s hand moved and gently rested on your lower back to comfort you. It was a habit. You sighed in content and automatically leaned back into his touch. His thumb stroked your back as you ascended the stairs to the Hokage’s office, another habit Tenzo had. He knew you so well. You knocked on the door and the Hokage answered.

 

“Come in.” She called and the two of you entered. “How are you today, (Y/N)?”

 

“I’m good Lady Fifth. How are you?”

 

“I’m well thank you.” Lady Tsunade replied with a smile. “Now, Yamato, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room.”

 

“But-” Tenzo started but you cut him off.

 

“It’s alright Tenzo.” You said taking his hand. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“If you’re sure.” He said looking anxious himself. You smiled and let go of his hand as he reluctantly left the room. The door closed with a quiet click as you approached the Hokage’s desk and sat down.

 

“You two are quite close.” Lady Tsunade remarked with a smile. You bit your lip hoping that she didn’t assume that the two of you were together.

 

“Yeah Tenzo, sorry, Yamato,” You corrected yourself, “and I have been friends for a long time.” Tsunade nodded and changed the subject.

 

“So, you’ve come about your anxiety?” This time it was your turn to nod. “When did you first notice your anxiety?”

 

“Um, probably when I first started at the academy.” You responded and fiddled with your fingers.

 

“And can you tell me what would cause your anxiety when you were young?” Tsunade asked. “Was it the school work? The environment?” You took a deep breath. “Take your time.”

 

“Well, I didn’t have very many friends when I was young,” You began trying your hardest to pinpoint what had caused your anxiety. The thing was, your anxiety could flare up at the stupidest things. “sometimes it was the schoolwork. I, I can’t really pinpoint anything, to be honest. It just, there were lots of different things that would make me anxious.”

 

“I see.” The Hokage replied, jotting a note down on the paper in front of her. “Do you always refer to Yamato as Tenzo?”

 

“Yeah, I mean, we’ve known each other since he was Tenzo.” You replied and smiled at the thought of him. “Obviously I don’t refer to him as Tenzo in public.”

 

“You can call him Tenzo now if you’d like. He told me that on the way back from your mission you had two attacks. Could you tell me what brought those on?”

 

“Well, the first one started because I was thinking about Tenzo finishing this mission and going back to the Black Ops.” You replied hesitantly. “I know its stupid because I know he’s a capable ninja, but he’s just always gone and can never tell me any details.”

 

“It’s not stupid.” Tsunade disagreed. “He’s your best friend. It’s only natural for you to worry about him. What was the second one about?” This time you hesitated. “It’s alright. Whatever you say here will not leave this room.”

 

“Well, Tenzo had just finished helping me through the first attack when Genma scared us.” You began recounting the event with a cringe. “Tenzo still had his hand on my back and was sitting close to me so Genma implied that we were together and was bugging us and…” You trailed off.

 

“So, it was Genma scaring you that caused the second attack,” Tsunade suggested. 

 

“No.” You said quietly. “It, it started because I thought he knew I had an attack. I thought he would think that I was pathetic and not fit to be a ninja or that he would tell everyone. But, then he said the think about Tenzo and I being together. I thought,” You took a breath, “I thought that if Genma could read my feelings so easily then surly Tenzo would’ve known too. But if he knew that, then I thought that he didn’t share my feelings and then it just went downhill from that.”

 

“I see,” Tsunade remarked and wrote something else down. “So, I take it you haven’t told Tenzo about your feelings then?” You shook your head. “I think that you should tell him how you feel.”

 

“But-” You interjected but Tsunade continued.

 

“(Y/N), you may not be able to see it, and I know your anxiety tries to convince you otherwise,” She paused and smiled. “But Tenzo is utterly in love with you.” Your jaw dropped to the floor. It couldn’t be. “I know to you it seems impossible, but to everyone else, it’s quite obvious. The reason why he hasn’t told you, from what I can assume, is most likely because he doesn’t want to cause you any more anxiety than you already have. You see, Tenzo comes to me every so often to get advice. Recently he’s told me that you been very anxious, so that’s why I assumed that. I think that you should tell him how you feel.”

 

“I,” You couldn’t comprehend what Tsunade just said. You couldn’t believe it, or maybe it was your anxiety preventing you from believing it. Sometimes the thought would occur to you that Tenzo shared your feelings but then your anxiety would make you doubt it, dismissing it as friendliness. “How?”

 

“I know it will be hard for you, but just go up to Tenzo and tell him you love him,” Tsunade concluded. “But, before you do that, I need to ask you a few more questions.”

 

For the rest of the session, Tsunade asked about triggers for your anxiety and other related questions before finally sending you to the medical core to try a certain type of herbal pills. You exited the room with a faint farewell to see Tenzo pacing up and down the hallway. He stopped as soon as he saw you. Tenzo fell into step with you as you passed him, and you could tell he was brimming with questions. He remained silent. “You can ask me about it, you know.” You said breaking the silence.

 

“I didn’t want to pry.” Tenzo replied rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. You gave him a smile. “So, what did Lady Fifth say? Can you try the pills?”

 

“Yeah,” You replied shooting a sideways glance at the ninja. Were Tsunade’s words true? “Do you want to come with me to the medical core?”

 

“Of course!” Tenzo accepted your offer as you descended the stairs and out of the Hokage’s building. The Medical Centre was on the other side of town, so you had some time to think about things. Maybe, you would take Tsunade’s advice and just outright tell Tenzo that you loved him. You bit your lip. No, maybe some subtle hints would be a good start.

 

As you walked in silence, you slowly inched closer to Tenzo, hoping that it wasn’t too obvious. He didn’t seem to notice. Your arms brushed, and your chest tightened. _You could do this._ After a few moments, you reached out and grazed your fingers against the back of his hand, then pretended to be interested in a passing flower. To your surprise, Tenzo subtly reached out his hand. An invitation. You reached your hand out and Tenzo gently took your hand in his. His hand was warm. You could feel the callouses on his hand from years of training. Taking a deep breath, you continued walking to the Medical Centre, this time hand in hand with the wood-style user.

 

By the time you reached the Centre you were nervous. Everyone there would know about your anxiety once you asked for the pills. You stopped in front of the door contemplating whether to go in. Tenzo halted beside you. He removed his hand from yours and placed it on your back gently nudged you toward the door. His encouraging smile made it easier for you to go in.

 

“Oh, (Y/N)-Sensei!” Sakura greeted cheerfully. “Lady Tsunade said you’d be coming by.” You nodded. Tenzo moved closer to you as if he could feel your nerves. It felt like the room was closing in on you. “Alright, so these are the pills that Tsunade recommended.” For the next few minutes, Sakura went over the instructions of the pills that you would now be taking. Through the entire explanation, you fiddled with the ring that your mother had given you, not understanding why you were so antsy all of the sudden. “Okay, so do you have any questions?”

 

“Uhm, no I don’t think so.” You said biting your lip just wanting to leave.

 

“Tsunade wanted me to tell you that in a month she would like you to see her for a follow-up,” Sakura said. Again, you nodded in acknowledgement and left the room leaving Tenzo behind.

 

You threw the doors open and quickly made your way down the stairs wanting to get away from the stuffy white walls of the Medical Centre.

 

“Hey, (Y/N),” Tenzo called from behind you. “Wait up!” You slowed your pace allowing Tenzo to catch up with you. When he reached you, he slipped his hand back into yours and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You forgot these.” He held up the white bag.

 

“Yeah, I just had to get out of there.” Tenzo didn’t reply as the two of you kept walking hand in hand. After ten minutes you finally noticed that you weren’t walking in the direction of your house. “Where are we going?” You asked looking up at the ninja beside you.

 

“I know you don’t like surprises,” Tenzo said, “But I ran back to your house while you were talking with the Hokage and grabbed your bathing suit. I thought it’d be nice to relax in the lake and I know how much you love swimming.” By now you had reached the edge of the village and breached the edge of the forest.

 

“Tenzo,” You said knowing that there was no one around. “You didn’t have to do this.”

 

“I wanted to.” He smiled and brushed his thumb against the back of your hand. Your stomach tightened at the gesture. “Plus, the sky is clear, so we can go star gazing after.”

 

“You do too much for me, you know that?” You told him. “Don’t you have other things you’d rather be doing then carting me around everywhere?” You felt bad for making Tenzo do all this stuff for you when he probably had other things to do. Better things to do.

 

“(Y/N), you’re my best friend.” Tenzo replied. “There’s nothing I enjoy more than spending my time with you. I wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else. You were the person who was always there for me when I needed someone, so I want to be there for you. No matter what.” He was too good for you. Changing the subject before you overthought about it too much you said,

 

“So, did you remember to bring towels this time?” Tenzo left out a soft laugh. The last time you had gone swimming he had forgotten them, so the two of you had to walk back to your house sopping wet.

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

“Good, I don’t really want to freeze my but off tonight.” You laughed.

 

“Don’t worry, you won't.”

 

__

 

Once you made it to the lake, Tenzo let go of your hand and grabbed a bag that was hidden under a bush. He took out your bathing suit and threw it at you. “I even managed to pick out your favourite one.” He joked, knowing that you only owned one bathing suit. You stuck out your tongue.

 

“Funny.”

 

“I thought so.” He laughed and pulled his shirt over his head.

 

“I, I'm going to go change over there.” You stammered not knowing why he flustered you so much this time. Maybe it was because you knew that eventually, you would be telling him your true feelings. Quickly you stripped out of your clothes and put your bathing suit on. You walked out from behind the bush to find Tenzo nowhere to be seen. “Hey, Tenzo? Where are you?” You approached the edge of the lake to see if he had already made it into the water. He wasn’t there. “Tenzo I swear if you try to scare me I will kill you!” You called out hoping to hear him chuckle. Still nothing. “Tenzo I'm serious!” Looking around the clearing once more you grumbled idiot under your breath. You wanted to get in already. The sun was going down so it was even harder to tell where Tenzo was. You heard a stick crack behind you, but it was too late. In one swift move Tenzo had you in his arms and launched himself into the air. “TENZO!” You yelled and clung to him. Cold. That was your only thought as you hit the water. Other than the thought that you would kill him. You gasped in air as your head surfaced the water, your lungs working in overdrive as they recovered from the shock of the cold water. Tenzo surfaced beside you with a huge grin on his face.

 

“It’s not nice to call your friends idiots, you know.” He grinned while treading water.

 

“You idiot,” You said through clenched teeth, fearing that if you unclenched them they would shatter from chattering. You were shivering so much the whole lake was probably rippling. “You’re the worst.”

 

“Awe,” Tenzo said clenching his heart, “I’m hurt by that you know.”

 

“Oh yeah? Maybe this will make you feel better.” You said a sent a huge splash his way.

 

“Hey!” He yelled in surprise. You stuck out your tongue and swam away from him making sure to put lots of distance between you two. This is where you felt most at home, in the water. Maybe it was because you had water nature chakra, maybe it was because you loved swimming, or maybe it was a combination of both. You let out a laugh and turned to see Tenzo weaving signs.

 

“No fair-” You were cut off by Tenzo’s wood arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you back towards him. Smirking, you weaved signs of your own under the water. “Water style: Hand of Waves!” You raised your hand as a jet of water shot out of your palm knocked Tenzo back a few feet and effectively freeing you from his grip. Taking a deep breath, you dove deep. You swam beneath the water, enjoying the feeling of the cool water now that your body was used to it. You surfaced in the middle of the lake to see Tenzo still trying to catch up with you. Out of the two of you, it was you who was the better swimmer. “Come on Tenzo,” You teased. “Hurry up!” This time you waited for him.

 

“And you said what I did was no fair.” He grumbled looking like a sad and wet puppy. His hair was drenched and plastered to his head, pointing every which way. You giggled as he reached you.

 

“Awe I’m sorry Tenzy.” You said trying not to giggle anymore. “You look so cute.” You bit your lip to contain you laugh as he pouted. “You can splash me if it’ll make you feel better.” When you said this Tenzo smiled mischievously. “Wha-” You were cut off as Tenzo grabbed you and dunked your head under the water. He held you down for a few seconds before you came up spluttering. Your arms laced around his neck to keep you afloat as you expelled some water from your lungs. “Okay,” You said between coughs, “I deserved that.”

 

“Yeah, you did.” Tenzo laughed and pulled you against him keeping both of you floating. It wasn’t uncommon for him to do this, but this time it had you biting your lip. His bare skin warmed your own. Your arms unintentionally tightened around his neck, not wanting to let go. Not now, not ever.

 

“Tenzo?” You asked.

 

“Yeah, (Y/N)?”

 

“Thank you.” You said not meeting his gaze. “You, you’ve always been so good to me. You’re always there for me and,” You could do this. _Tell him you love him._ “And I’m so grateful that I have you.” _Damn it._ You looked at Tenzo to see him smiling.

 

“(Y/N),” His thumb stroked your lower back. “I will always be there for you. Like I said before, you’re my best friend. It’s the least I can do.” Your chest tightened.

 

“I, I,” _love you._ Tenzo watched as you tried to form coherent words. “Thank you.” He pulled you into a hug. After a moment he let go, a playful twinkle in his eye. He splashed you and then took off swimming. “Hey! I thought we were done that!”

 

“You got me twice!” He called back with a boisterous laugh. That man would be the death of you.

 

__

 

The sun had gone down and now it was pitch black out, but that didn’t stop you or Tenzo from staying in the lake. Now the two of you were floating and watching the stars. _I love you._ It had always been hard for you to say those words, no matter who it was to. _I love you Tenzo._ You rehearsed those words over and over again. With each repetition, the tension in your gut tightened. _I love you._

 

“What are you thinking about?” Tenzo asked from his place floating beside you.

 

“Do you have like a sixth sense about knowing when I'm thinking or something?” You asked as your shoulders brushed. “It’s kind of creepy.”

 

“I don’t know,” He shrugged, “I can just sense it I guess.” You didn’t reply. “So, what were you thinking about?” _That I love you_.

 

“It’s nothing really.” You bit your lip and winced in pain. You had bit it raw.

 

“Oh yeah,” Tenzo pried, “Then why are you biting your lip?” _Because I want to tell you I love you._

 

“No reason.” You floated in silence for a while until your hand grazed against Tenzo’s. Closing your eyes, you felt his fingers brush your own. _I love you._ He pressed his palm flat against yours. _I love you._ _I love you._ Your hand felt small against his. He ran his fingers down yours and then laced them together. _I love you. I love you. I love you._ Why couldn’t you just say it out loud? It was only three words, eight letters, three syllables. And yet, you couldn’t utter them. Tenzo gently squeezed your hand and your breaths quickened. Now. You would do it right now. “Tenzo I-” You started already breathless, but he cut you off.

 

“I know, (Y/N).” Your breath caught in your throat. He knew? This entire time? A moment of silence passed as you processed what you just heard. The water was disturbed as Tenzo abandoned his floating position and began to tread water. You followed suit. Looking at him now, he was different. There was a spark in his eye that you had never noticed before, perhaps because your anxiety wouldn’t let you. You bit your lip once again.

 

“You’ve already bit it raw (Y/N).” Tenzo said gently. You swallowed and bit your tongue instead.

 

“Tenzo…” You whispered, not able to talk any louder. Your chest tightened as you watched him watch you, his eyes soft, loving. Why hadn’t you noticed this? That question seemed to be a reoccurring one lately. You let out a shaky breath as Tenzo’s arms wrapped around your waist, holding you up above the water. Keeping you both afloat. Your arms felt awkward by your sides, so you wrapped them around Tenzo’s neck and laced your fingers together. You fiddled with your mother’s ring.

 

“I love you (Y/N).” Tenzo began with a smile, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ve loved you for so long.” You resisted the urge to bite your lip. You took another deep breath as he continued. “You pulled me out of the dark, out of the Root’s clutches. You were the one who taught me that it was acceptable to feel emotions, to love. Before now, back then, I never thought I’d ever feel this. I thought that having emotional connections would be a hindrance, a weakness, something to be used against you. But with you,” he paused, “You have been the best thing that’s come into my life. (Y/N), I owe my life to you.” Your eyes glazed with tears. How? How could you have impacted someone so much? “I want to be with you (Y/N). I want to be with you for as long as I live. And if you feel the same, then I will give you all the love that I can.”

 

“Tenzo,” You managed to choke out before your tears started to fall. You sobbed. Tenzo lifted you up, seemingly at the shallow part of the lake, and walked out and back towards your bags, holding your sobbing form all the while. You clung to him, too emotional to feel pathetic. By now you had wrapped your legs around his torso, and your arms had tightened exponentially around his neck. Your face was resting in the crook of his neck as your tears slowly made their way down his chest.  Tenzo grabbed the bags and carried both them and you to your usual stargazing spot. His hand gently ran up and down your back as you sobbed.

 

“It’s alright (Y/N),” He whispered into your ear which only made you cry harder. How could you have found someone this good? And the most important question; how did you manage to get him to fall madly in love with you?

 

For a long time, you clung to him. Long enough for your tears to run dry. By now you were tired, aching and extremely embarrassed. You still hadn’t said I love you. You had to, you needed to. “Tenzo?” You rasped, your throat raw from crying. “I, I'm cold.” You said instead of I love you. Tenzo chuckled softly, the sound rumbling into your chest. You were so close. Tenzo’s muscles rippled against your skin as he reached into the bag and pulled something out. He let go of you for a few seconds to wrap a giant fleece blanket around the both of you.

 

“See, I told you I wouldn’t let you freeze.” He said pulling the blanket tightly around you.

 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered against his neck.

 

“For what?” He asked. “You have nothing to be sorry about (Y/N).” You closed your eyes and remembered what he said before. _You never have to apologize to me._ You didn’t want to look up, but you had to, and this time, you _would_ tell him you loved him. Taking a deep breath, you built up the courage to remove your head from his shoulder. You wiped your puffy eyes and looked at him. You were close enough to feel his breath blow gently on your face. He smiled. You took a shaky breath.

 

“Tenzo,” you said, voice cracking. “I, damn it why is this so hard?” You looked away briefly then met his eye, determination flaming in yours. “I, I love you Tenzo.” It was almost as if a weight was lifted off your chest as you said those words. You were free. “I love you.” You repeated. Over and over again, you said those three words, never breaking eye contact with Tenzo.

 

“I’ve been waiting to hear those words for so long.” Tenzo said and hugged you tighter. You smiled shyly at the ninja, so badly wanting to kiss him, but didn’t out of shyness. Much to your surprise, Tenzo leaned in and kissed you. His lips were warm against yours and wonderfully soft. Your hand moved to the nape of his neck, gently grabbing a hold of his short brown hair as you deepened the kiss. You kissed him with such force that you pushed him onto his back. You braced your arm beside his head and kept kissing him. His hand rested on the small of your back, his thumb gently rubbing against it. You finally broke the kiss and saw Tenzo smiling widely.  

 

“Lady Tsunade told me that you loved me,” You confessed to him, “If she hadn’t then I probably wouldn’t have realized it.” You peeled yourself off him and laid down beside him. Your head rested on his bare chest as he pulled the blanket over you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his warm body as you laid a hand on his chest and brushed your thumb against it.

 

“I would’ve told you eventually.” He said, running his hand along your arm. “You’ve just been so anxious lately, and I didn’t know if telling you would make it worse. But now, I wish I would’ve told you sooner.” You laid in silence, your hand tracing patterns on his chest, and his on your arm.

 

“I love you.” You said again.

 

“I know, you’ve told me that a lot tonight.” He chuckled and took your hand in his. “I love you, (Y/N). And I always will.”

 

For a long while, the two of you stayed out there. You talked about your anxiety, he talked about his time in the Root. You had talked to each other about these things before, but now, it was different, more intimate. He told you about the things that haunted him at night and you told him about things that kept you up at night. You held each other when it got emotional. Finally, you both decided that it was time to head back to someone’s house and go to sleep. You were emotionally and physically exhausted. You walked back to the lake to gather up the clothes that you had left there and then finally started the walk home. This time instead of hand in hand, Tenzo had his arm around your waist and you had yours around his, the warm blanket draped over both of your shoulders. The walk back was silent but comfortable, ending with two of you at Tenzo’s doorstep.

 

“Are you sure you want to stay over?” He asked while unlocking his door. “I don’t want to rush things.” Even though you were half asleep, you could still see the blush forming on Tenzo’s cheeks.

 

“It’s alright Tenzo.” You reassured sleepily. Tenzo locked the door behind him and you walked into his room ready to flop on his bed and sleep. It was odd being in his house. Most of the time you spent together was at your place. You sighed at the sight of his large bed and threw yourself on in, not bothering to change out of your dried bathing suit. You slid under the blankets and pressed them against your face. They smelled like Tenzo. Musky, like the smell of a forest after a good rain. The smile that appeared on Tenzo’s face when he walked into the room to see you all snuggled up in his blankets made your heart melt. He looked like the happiest man alive. You giggled as he just stood in the doorway smiling like an idiot, making no move to come and disturb you. “Well, are you just going to stand there?”

 

“I just can’t believe that this is happening.” He confessed with a blush. “That you’re here, curled up in my bed. It’s too good to be true.” You watched Tenzo as he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers. This time you blushed. You watched the muscles on his back flex as his pulled off his swimming shorts and replaced them with the pair of boxers, never once taking your eyes off him. Part of you was relieved that he was facing away from you, only letting you see him naked from behind, while another part very much wanted to see him fully naked from the front. Tenzo turned around and noticed your gaze making you hide your face under his blankets. He let out a soft chuckle as he finally made his way over to you. Tenzo pulled the blankets away from your face and kissed you as he slid in beside you. It was a short but loving kiss.

 

“I almost forgot!” You said suddenly, “Do you have those pills?”

 

“Oh yeah, they’re right here.” He reached over you and rummaged through a bag, producing the white bag that contained the pills. Tenzo handed them to you and got a glass of water which you accepted gratefully. You threw the pill in your mouth and drank some water giving Tenzo the glass once you were finished. Sighing, you snugged back up into the arms of the wood style user, exhaustion hitting you like a brick. You looked up and brushed a gentle kiss on Tenzo’s jaw, too tired to reach any higher. Planting another kiss on his chin, you pressed your face into his neck ready for sleep to take you. Tenzo pulled you tightly against him. Gently he rested his chin on the top of your head, leaving his neck exposed for you to snuggle into. You pressed one last kiss against his Adam's apple and heard him let out a contented sigh. Tenzo ran his fingers up and down your back along your exposed sink, beckoning sleep even further.

 

“Goodnight Tenzo,” You spoke softly, you lips grazing his warm skin with each word, “I love you.” Tenzo placed a kiss on the top of your head and murmured,

 

“I love you too, (Y/N).” You let out a small sigh as Tenzo continued to lightly caress your skin with his calloused fingers. Your eyelids drooped further and further until they finally closed. You didn’t want to fall asleep. You wanted to stay awake, so you could feel and know that Tenzo was beside you, so you fought it the best you could. “Go to sleep (Y/N).”  Tenzo whispered, “I’ll still be here in the morning and every morning from now on.” You tried to speak but sleep finally won the battle. You managed to hum an incoherent reply before you finally fell asleep. For the first time in a long time, you finally had your life in control. You had been able to talk with Lady Tsunade about your anxiety, had gotten pills to help with it, and best of all, told your best friend that you were in love with him. That night, you slept soundly lying in the arms of the man you loved with all your heart.


End file.
